Why do I do What I do? -Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time -27th October 2013

Why do I do What I do?

Why do I do what I do? This is the question that came up as I read the parable of the Pharisee and tax collector. I am a catholic. I go to church every Sunday. I am regular for confession. I give alms and I work as a volunteer in the church. Why do I do all these? I engage myself in these activities because I want to be known as a person of good standing in comparison with others and to be convinced that I am indeed a righteous person who follows the rules and regulations, OR, I carry out all these deeds not because the law asks me to but because they flow from my relationship with God. I am so full of love for God and His teachings that I express it love in my actions. I need to make no mention of all that because God knows why I do it. At the core of Francis of Assisi’s message is that who we are before God is really who and what we are: nothing more and nothing less! It is not our outward show and a life of only external observance that God is interested in but in who we are in His sight.
The Gospel today invites us to reflect upon our intentions behind our pious activities and charitable deeds. The Pharisee in the parable brags about how he has followed the rules, fulfilled the obligations and how he is not like the others. In the words of the Gospel, the Pharisee belongs to those who are convinced of their righteousness and despised everyone else. Despite his confession of how good he is, he was not right with God, because of his self-righteous attitude and also his intention to be known as such. It is very obvious from the boastful confession of Pharisee that he fasted and paid tithes only because the law required him to do and not because he loved God or he wanted to grow in relationship with God. If he indeed loved God, he would have prayed and not boasted! He was busy making himself look right in other people’s sight and so all that he did were perhaps of great value to him but not worth in God’s sight. God looks at the heart, the inner attitude and not the outward show.
The tax collector makes a confession too; A confession not with many words but with many actions. First of all the tax collector stands at a distance because he feels unworthy to come closer to the Sanctuary. He does not even raise his face to heaven because he humbly accepts his weaknesses and limitations. He then beats on his breast feeling truly sorry for his wrongdoings and pleads forgiveness from God. The tax collector does not speak here about what he has done and how many times he fasted and how much he has contributed for the temple but he looks into his own life to see where he stands in his relationship with God. With such an honest and a sincere disposition, the tax collector went home justified. God saw his heart and his attitude and God did certainly hear his prayers because in the first reading we find that it is the prayer of the lowly that pierces the clouds and that it does not rest till it reaches its goal. It does not withdraw till the Most High responds, judges justly and affirms the right. The tax collector came to the temple not to make a show of himself but to see God, seek His love and to grow in his relationship with God.
The tax collector admits that he is a sinner and recounts in his prayer not his deeds of piety and charity but he restores his relationship with God by seeking God’s mercy. This is what makes him different from the Pharisee who arrogantly blows his trumpet and compares himself with the others instead of looking into his heart to see how good he is in keeping his faith and in his personal relationship with God. The words of Mahatma Gandhi are very fitting here,” “Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
Towards the end of his life, Francis of Assisi said to his brothers, “Let us begin again to serve the Lord God, for up to now we have done nothing.” This was the disposition of Francis after having lived an inimitable Christian life. Francis did not instruct his followers with wonderful deeds that he had done in his life but in humility he acknowledged that they should begin again to serve the Lord. Why Francis did what he did? It is his love for God and Gospel that drove him to embrace such a life. We shall look into our lives to see if it is the love for God that is a guiding force to our Christian life.